WTF Am I Doing?
by FratPartyAtThePankakeFestival
Summary: I *was* on a mission to *find* Luann/Tiffany fanfic. I am now on a mission to write it myself. Set spring of senior year of high school. M for exploring sexuality, though not explicit (for now...)
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I blame this: gocomics luann/2012/10/07 and the Comics Curmudgeon and the distinct lack of Rule 34 following through on this.

I _was_ on a mission to _find_ Luann/Tiffany fanfic. I am now on a mission to write it myself.  
_

Well. This was actually kind of difficult. Which is why it's taken me upwards of 3 years working on this occasionally to get it to point where I'm comfortable publishing any of it. During that time, a lot of things changed drastically in the comic itself. So this is set somewhere in the middle of all that, in the spring of their senior year, so that I didn't have to completely rewrite everything to keep up with canon. I admit, I wasn't expecting the source material to advance them through high school and college so suddenly. I mean, they were in middle school for, like 15 years...

Anyway. That was part of why it took so long. Another is that the fuel for this particular ship is rather few and far between. I don't think many of the readers have considered this, but I've been shipping Luann/Tiffany since that strip listed above. So lack of fuel, and also lack of character development until fairly recently due to the nature of the newspaper comic strip as a medium.

This should turn out to be a handful of short chapters. As long as I can force myself to give it an actual ending. And finally, for the sake of the eventual possible mature content this may see, let's just go ahead and assume everyone involved is 18; though none of that for now. And Disclaimer: Don't own Luann. Is that not what the concept of fanfiction implies.

* * *

 ** _WTF Am I Doing?_**  
 _(Luann/Tiffany)_

Just another free moment in class; just another meaningless squibble with Tiffany. That's what she thought.

"So, have you seen that new guy in our class? He's pretty hot. I'm gonna let him take me to the Spring Fling."

Luann watched out of the corner of her eye as the other applied yet another layer of mascara and droned about boys. She was trying, and failing miserably, to tune her out, so when Tiffany brought up her latest target, she couldn't help it. She never could with Tiffany.

"Oh, so you've finally given up on Quill?"

Actually, she herself had given up on him. They were still friends; still hung out, still texted and talked every day, but it wasn't working out in the way they had hoped. Especially now that talk of life after high school had come into the picture. Not that she'd ever admit that to Tiffany, of course.

"I've realized he's not worth the effort. Sure, he's the hot foreign exchange student, but as far as foreign boys go, it's not like he's the prime example. He's much more suited to you."

She bristled. It was expected, and Luann didn't know why exactly she continued to allow herself to react. She knew this card was a faked exaggeration, but she still played it.

"And just what is _that_ supposed to mean?!"

If she were anyone else, she wouldn't have dignified that with a vocal response, but she was Tiffany, and Tiffany didn't know the meaning of 'subtlety'.

"Oh, no, you deserve him, really you do."

It had dissolved into another battle in their never-ending argument over the importance of looks. Just another. But for some reason, today it wouldn't leave her alone. Well, moreso than usual. What Luann would never admit to Tiffany, as it would concede her entire argument, was that she actually quite envied the other girl's good looks.

Luann thought herself plain, and couldn't keep her mind off the beauty queen's perfect body. She had often caught herself comparing her own body to Tiffany's before, but this seemed different. Today, instead of just wishing she had the other girl's body, reluctant as she was to admit it even to herself, she found that she wished to run her hands over that flawless skin.

Not really being able to deal with that, she attempted to play it off as just another tiff. She complained noisily to her friends about Tiffany, then went home where she continued her rant to her parents, and then finally to Quill. But that was where things got a little weird again.

After a summer visit where they had grown closer, and then struggling through Quill going back to Australia, then returning, and now planning to leave again, they had both agreed at some point that the back and forth of the sometimes long-distance relationship was too much of a rollercoaster. A long-term romance between the two of them just wasn't going to happen, even when they could see each other. They were still good friends, though, and still spoke every day. They still spent enough time together for the uninformed to think they were still going out, and didn't really bother to correct anyone. But now, instead of trying to hang out as a couple, they had relaxed into almost best friend status.

He was in town for now, so Luann demanded his presence in her bedroom that afternoon, and there her walls came down and she let slip some of her true feelings.

"Augh, and she acts like _I'm_ a slut, and then she goes and hangs herself off the new boy like he's coated in chocolate! Actually, I think he might be, but that's beside the point."

Luann paced her room angrily. Quill watched from her bed. He knew how she got when it came to Tiffany; he knew they wouldn't be talking about anything else until she'd said everything she possibly could about the "vapid bitch".

"I hate how she acts and I hate how she treats me! Just once, I'd like to be-"

She cut herself off, turning suddenly toward him. Quill definitely noticed.

"Hm? You'd like what?"

Luann sighed heavily and looked down, slumping into her desk chair. After a pause, she answered in a voice much quieter than it had been.

"I'd like to be the center of her attention."

They ended up talking far too long into the night, but by the end, and with Quill's help, Luann had managed to work out most of her feelings. They figured she had likely been in love with Tiffany since as far back as middle school, when she first started taking notice of her. Though, being a confused pre-teen, she had squashed that notion with jealousy and hatred and boys. Oh, but boys were such wonderful distractions. She was certainly not regretful of the loves she had had since then. But maybe now she could understand why none of them ever seemed to be meant to last. Even if she had more or less repressed it, and even if she had never admitted it, she had always been secretly crushing on someone else. And she would never really be able to move on from that as long as Tiffany was still in her life.

But now. Now she had uncovered it. It had been merely tucked away until a time when she could better deal with it. And she did deal with it. With the ear and advice of Quill, and being old enough now to be able to understand what these feeling were and what they meant, Luann calmly and rationally came to the realization that she was in love with Tiffany Farrell, and had been for a very long time. Hidden from even herself, but deep enough to outlast all of her other flings and crushes.

Now that she knew, she could finally go after the one she really wanted. She would waste no more effort on passing distractions that never worked out.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: oh god i'm still going with this help

Also, have some quick sketches

* * *

 _ **Chapter 2**_

Three days later found Luann subconsciously waiting for the other girl after class. She'd talked about what to do about it with Quill, but hadn't planned on anything concrete yet. However, when the opportunity presented itself, she couldn't help it. She needed to get somewhere with this thing before it drove her out of her mind.

And so she found herself stalling in the locker room.

Gym was the last class of the day, but the final bell had rung a good fifteen minutes ago.

Tiffany liked to stay late most days after school let out to take advantage of already being in a gym by working out a little extra. She finished her last laps and, heading to the locker rooms and peeling off sweaty gym clothes, hit the showers.

When she emerged clean many minutes later, she noticed she was not alone as she had thought. A slight, annoyed frown graced her features.

Luann was there. What was Luann still doing there?

She'd have to find out. "What are you still doing here?" Tiffany asked flatly.

Luann looked up from her shoes. She was sitting on the bench, half changed into street clothes. "Oh! Ah…" she swallowed, forcing her eyes away from the edge of the towel. "I stayed to help Coach put away some equipment." It wasn't a total lie.

"Ugh," Tiffany rolled her eyes. "Figures you'd do something nerdy like that."

Luann scowled, but didn't say anything as the bleach-blonde moved closer. Her heart skipped a beat before she remembered that the other's locker was quite near her own. It skipped another when the towel fell to the ground, and she quickly turned back around to her shoes.

She chanced a peek, and saw that though the girl was faced away from her, she was sill completely naked for the moment, pulling lacy pink panties up her long legs.

Luann gasped as she turned away yet again, wide-eyed and blushing.

That image was certainly going to stay with her for a while.

Tiffany heard the small gasp from behind her, and paused, unsure what it meant. She continued dressing more slowly as she contemplated it, pulling the matching lacy pink bra out of her locker and putting it on.

She turned around and looked at the other for a moment. Luann was facing definitively away, head down a little and shoulders tense. How curious. She had stopped whatever process of changing clothes she might have been in, and now sat motionless in just her underwear and a trendy t-shirt, jeans laid across the bench beside her and gym shoes in front of her. Waiting. For what, who knew.

* * *

They had been fine with each other in elementary school; friends by proximity, really. It wasn't until middle school, where it became clear that they belonged to very different groups, that Tiffany decided she hated Luann.

It wasn't hate. Not really. But she couldn't decide what it was, and so she decided instead to hate her. Over time, a part of her figured out what it really was, but by that point she was already in it too deep and determined to keep it up.

She still needed to hate Luann.

She still needed Luann to hate her.

Tiffany told herself to hate Luann for everything she was; everything that made her different from herself. It was the only reasonable way to gain her attention. So she threw jealousy at the other girl. Flaunted her body, and gossip, and attention from boys in front of her.

To be honest, Tiffany didn't actually care about any of those boys. She never dated any of them. Never even fooled around with any of them, never slept with any of those boys. Despite her reputation, she was still a virgin.

Well, no. That wasn't completely honest, was it? She may not have slept with any boys, but she was far from a virgin. During that time when she was discovering her sexuality, she and Crystal had slept together many times. It was mostly an experimental time, and their feelings were certainly more platonic, but as her best friend, Tiffany would always love Crystal dearly.

Tiffany was a lesbian, and Crystal was the only person she trusted with this information. As such, she would always be grateful for everything she had done for her in that time.

They had continued to sleep together until Crystal began dating Knute. Which was when things slowly began to turn for herself.

Being so far down in this cycle of hate with Luann, Tiffany had started a new long-term argument for them to have: that two people who were such opposites as Crystal and Knute couldn't possibly get on well enough to maintain a relationship. She knew she being hypocritical, and that the argument was flawed, but she insisted anyway. Crystal knew what it was really about, and just gave her knowing looks before going off happily with Knute and leaving her to it.

It lasted far longer than it should have, and Luann's counter-points ended up hitting far too close to home. Tiffany wound up walking away from these fights thinking, "well, maybe…" and it drew her back to the subject time and time again. She wanted to hear Luann make a case for the possibility of… them.

She knew exactly what she was doing, but she couldn't help it. It was all she had with Luann.

Then one day, she noticed a change. A change on the other side. It was just their default argument. Nothing should have been any different. But something… Something about the way Luann flushed. It wasn't the same as her usual flush of anger. It was almost as if… that jealousy Tiffany was always trying for was aimed in a different direction. Not at herself.


End file.
